Hugh Who?
by BegottenSpud
Summary: Leni has a boyfriend. OneShot.


**A/N: So this is **_**the**_** first full story I've ever written, which I actually wrote the very day I got into the Loud House. I wrote and posted it on an old account on another site a few years ago, and after I'd deleted the account, I thought I'd lost it. Apparently not, as I just stumbled across it on my iPad today. The grammar and writing style is strange, even to me, as I don't write like it any more— with the parentheses and such and the fact that it reads like a script, but it's fine. I don't exactly remember, but I think it may have been on purpose as to fit the style of the show. Not sure, though.**

(Starts out with an exterior shot of the Loud house, midday-1:30pm, winter).

*SLAM*

Lori: Okay everyone, it's time for the monthly gathering for our secret, secrets club. Does anyone have anything to share?

Lincoln: Yeah I have something. I was the one who clogged the toilet three days ago.

Everyone: Boo!

Lola: There's a shocker (sarcastically).

Lisa: Lincoln, you do that on a weekly basis. That's no more of a secret than Charles rubbing his posterior on the carpet. We seek mental stimulation from these meetings, which your statement was severely lacking.

Lori: Anyone have literally anything better?

Lana: I was the one who broke mom and dads bed yesterday. Hops and I were jumping on it, and the springs gave out.

Lynn: I broke the vase in the living room the other day. I was just juggling my soccer ball maybe a little too hard, and it flew down the stairs and smashed the vase.

Luna: I blew out the living room's surround sound speakers on Leni's birthday a few weeks ago. I was excited to play the song I wrote for her, so I went to practice. Guess I played a little too hardcore.

Luan: I'm the one who scratched the tv screen. I was watching recordings of my most recent routine, and when I got up one of my props just scraped the screen right down the middle. I guess you could say if mom and dad found out, I wouldn't be cable to leave my room. (Laughs).

Lori: (Rolls her eyes) Anything else?

(Everyone shakes their heads except for Leni, which Lincoln notices).

Lincoln: I have a question I'd like to ask Leni.

Lori: The floor is yours little bro.

Lincoln: I just realized that since your 17th birthday a few weeks ago Leni, you've been acting nicer, and happier. Even more than normal, I mean. Any specific reason?

(Flashback/clip montage of the past 3 weeks)

(Shows Lucy in her room eating blood pudding which she spills on her skirt).

Lucy: Dang it.

Leni: (Who let's herself into Lucy's room) I heard you spill your food, so while I get the stain out, you can wear this new black dress I designed for you, (she said cheerfully).

Lucy: Oh, uh.. thanks Leni, I actually like this. (Puts on dress).

(Shows Lisa in her room, working with her chemicals)

Lisa: Now, if I just add one drop of this liquid nitrogen, I can possibly finish concocting the antidote for the H1-N1 virus. (Proceeds to blow up). Dang it.

Leni: (Who sees this from the hallway) Oh no, Lisa! Your glasses broke. You can just wear mine until we get you new ones. (Proceeds to put her sunglasses onto Lisa's face).

Lisa: Um.. thanks Leni, but these aren't prescrip-

Leni: You're welcome Lisa! (Cheerfully).

(Back to the meeting)

(Leni looks like she is about to explode with happiness)

Leni: Okay, fine you guys... I totes have a boyfriend! (She gleefully exclaims).

(Everyone squeals in unison).

Lori: Leni, why didn't you tell us sooner?!

Lana: Who cares! Just tell us everything important.

(Everyone huddles up close to Leni to listen).

Leni: His name is John. He's about 6ft 3in, with very dark brown hair, light blue eyes, a nice tan, and is very toned (she says dreamily). I met him at the mall the day after my birthday, when I was selling some of my designs to the stores. He was one of the male models.

Lola: He's a MODEL?!

Leni: I know! We've gone out three times already. He told me he's training to be a fire fighter.

Lynn: Woah! This guys sounds amazing, Leni.

Leni: Well I totes hope you all still think so after tomorrow.

Lincoln: Why? What's happening tomorrow?

Leni: Oh, we're going out to Jean Juan's French/Mex buffet tomorrow night, but first he said he'll come here to meet all of you and spend the day with us. I've told him _all_ about you.

Lola: (Shocked) A male model is going to be at our house tomorrow? I have to get ready! (She runs out of the room).

(Everyone except Lori follows her).

Lori: I still don't know why you didn't tell us about him sooner, Leni. Why didn't you?

Leni: Well, the thing is.. he's 20 years old already.

Lori: (Shocked) Wow.. even Bobby is only 18. I don't even know what to think about that. I mean, what are mom and dad going to say? They'll literally freak out about his intentions with you or whatever.

Leni: Come On Lori, I'm already worried. I just want everyone to like him as much as I do.

(The camera shows Lincoln heard all of this, standing outside their door).

(The next morning-10:00am).

Leni: Okay you guys, he just texted me, he should be here any minute.

Lola: I'm so excited! Leni, I hope he's as handsome as I imagine.

Lucy: If he's anything like Hugh was, he will be.

Leni: Trust me girls, he's totes even handsomer.

(Everyone but Lori and Lincoln squeal in unison).

(A loud car engine, accompanied by glaringly loud Led Zeppelin, can both be heard from outside. They all rush to the big bay window to get a look).

Lana: Woah! Is that a '70 G500 Mustang?!

Luna: And he's listening to some of the most rockn' music known to mankind dudes!

(Everyone sits down on the couch, eagerly waiting to meet him).

Leni: Ohhh, I sure hope you all like him!

Lana & Luna: I do already (in unison).

(A knock on the door is heard. They all get up in excitement).

Leni: Shhh! (The siblings stop squealing).

(Leni proceeds to open the door, revealing the handsome young man, wearing dark blue jeans, light brown boots, a white 3 button long sleeve shirt, and an old, grey peacoat).

Leni: Hi Johnny-bear!

John: Hey, babe. You look great!

Leni: Ohh, thank you! (Leni directs him towards her 10 siblings as she takes his jacket and hangs it up), John, these are my 9 sisters, and my brother.

John: Well, I have to say, it's great to finally meet you all.

(The sisters are star-struck by the boy, as they just stare at him for a few moments).

Everyone but Lincoln: Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh.

Leni: That means they like you!

John: Good to know, Len. Now let me see if I can guess all of your names based on what Leni has told me about you. Let's see here (he starts walking a bit closer and thinks about their names). Okay, so (points at Lori and Lily), you're obviously Lori and Lily, being the oldest and youngest.

Lori: Uggghh. (Goose noise).

John: (points to Luna) I'd recognize a true rocker anywhere, Luna. (points to Luan), from that tie you're wearing, I'd guess you're Luan. I'd love to hear that famous sense of humor today. (points to Lynn and Lucy) The obvious athlete and the obvious goth. I've heard all about your (points to Lynn) strength, and your (points to Lucy) poems. (Points to Lana and Lola) You two must be the twins with the opposite personalities. You're as cute as Leni said you are. (Points to Lisa) I'll guess you're the brains of the bunch, Lisa. I'm excited to see what experiments you have cooking up in your lab today. Finally, you must be Lincoln, who I've heard so much about. So, how'd I do?

Leni: You did great, John! You got them all right. You made it look so easy, and it's hard. Trust me, I know.

John: (Laughs) You're too much, babe.

Lincoln: So John, what do you have planned for today?

John: Well your sis here told me you're the guy that always thinks up the master plans, so I thought I'd let you all decide. Whatever you guys wanna do, we can do.

Lincoln: Wow cool. I like your style, John. How about we-

Luna: How about John and I go shred up in my room? (Luna quickly grabs John by the arm and pulls him to her room.

(The sisters snap out of it).

Lola: Oh my gosh, Leni! He's _gorgeous_!

Lori: Literally, Leni, he's even better than I expected. He's basically perfect.

(The rest of the sisters start complimenting Leni)

Lincoln: Yeah Leni he's cool so far. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be another Hugh situation, but it might be too late for that. (As he starts walking towards Luna's room). (Lincoln starts wondering what their parents will say to John about his "intentions" when they get home).

(Luna's room. Luna is holding her guitar which is plugged in)

Luna: So John, do you have any requests?

John: Requests? How about we play together? (John pulls a harmonica out of his pocket). I always have one on me. It's your house, what do you want to play?

Luna: You're a musician too? Rockin' dude! How about we play the song you were listening to when you got here, "Ramble On"?

John: Ready when you are.

(The two are jammin' together as Lincoln walks in.)

(The song finishes)

Lincoln: Wow, you're really good at that John.

John: Thanks dude, I've been playing since I was your age.

Lincoln: Hey, now that you guys are done do you think we-

(Lucy suddenly appears, scaring them all. She grabs John, and pulls him away).

Luna and Lincoln: Dang it. (In unison).

(Lucy's room).

Lucy: John I wrote you a poem.

John: Wow! That was fa-

Lucy: John! With your tall, and strong physique,

dating my sister, Leni, every week.

John, Leni is a nice girl, but,

In front of you, is the woman you seek.

John: That was.. um, very good Lucy, but-

(Lisa runs in and pulls John to her lab).

Lucy: (Depressed) Dang it.

(Lisa's Lab)

Lisa: Sit here please. (John sits down).

John: So what type of experiment are we going to preform?

Lisa: (Turns around) Behold! This is my latest scientific breakthrough. I call it Love Mist. If one is to inhale the chemicals within the elixir, one will fall in love with whomever's DNA is mixed in.

John: Oh, that's cool. So you put Leni's DNA in there?

Lisa: (Suspiciously) Yeeeahhh, suureee I did. Now just breath in.

(Lisa holds the vile up to John's nose, just as Lana charges in and pulls him away.)

Lisa: Dang it.

(Out front of the Loud house, Lana and John are wearing their coats in the snow.)

Lana: So John, tell me all about this car. Where did you get it?

John: Well, actually my older brother and I found it in a junkyard. It took us some time but we got it running. Now it'll out speed anybody, heheh.

Lana: That's awesome! Do you think you could teach me a few things?

John: Yeah sure, just let me-

(Lynn runs out, and pulls John into the backyard).

Lana: Dang it.

(The Loud's backyard).

Lynn: John, do you want to play baseball with me? I just got a new bat!

John: Sounds fun! I grew up playing baseball. I don't know if Leni told you but, I still play at my college.

Lynn: No way! She didn't tell me that. Alright then, you're the guest, you hit first.

(They get into position. Lynn starts winding up, and releases. John connects and hits the ball all the way into the next street).

John: Oh dang! Sorry, I can just get in my car and-

(Lincoln marches outside)

Lincoln: John!?

John: Hey Lincoln, what's up?

Lincoln: Can you come inside? I need to talk to you.

John: Yeah sure. (Turns back to Lynn) Sorry about your ball! I'll drive to go get it later.

Lynn: Sorry? Are you kidding? That was amazing, (she says excitedly).

(Lincoln and John walk into the living room and sit down)

Lincoln: Sorry about my sisters. This happens every time a guy they like is here. Apparently even if he's dating their own sister.

John: Nah it's cool dude, they're all nice girls. I can tell they don't mean any harm. So, uh, anyway, what do you really want to talk about?

Lincoln: Well, you see I'm very close to all of my sisters, and last night I overheard Leni telling Lori that you're 20 years old? That's quite a bit older than her, and she's never had a boyfriend before, so-

John: So you're worried about my true intentions with your sister?

Lincoln: Yes! Wait how did you know?

John: Because it makes total sense. She just turned 17, while I just turned 20. She's not even at the legal age of consent.

Lincoln: Wait, what does that mean..?

John: It means it's not legal for us to, um... do grown up things together yet. I totally get why some of you won't be comfortable with it. Especially your parents.

Lincoln: Well for the record, what _are_ your true intentions with Leni?

John: Honestly Lincoln, I've had nothing my whole life. My parents died when I was 8 and since then, my brother and I lived on our own. We had to raise ourselves since we don't have anyone but each other. We found an old abandoned air stream trailer, and cleaned it up. Our friend from school's dad moved it to the local trailer park for us, which is where we still live. You see, my brother is sort of like your sister Lisa in a way. Not quite as smart, but really who is as smart as her, but he's still a genius. The problem is he's only 3 years older than me, so he was really young too. We taught ourselves how to fix things, clean things, and most importantly steal things. I'm not proud of it, but I had to do it to survive. It corrupted me as a person, and it led me to do even worse things, and I just felt... empty. So, I started to try and make money in clean ways. Recently, I had to do a stupid modeling gig, just for the money. I hate modeling.

Lincoln: How does Leni tie into all of this?

John: Well, that's when I met her. Suddenly, modeling became my favorite thing to do. I asked her out the second I saw her there, and since then, well.. all I know is since then I feel like an entirely new person. You need to know, your sister is the kindest, most genuine person I've ever met, and she makes me a better man every minute I spend with her. She's helping me get out of my rough life already. I know we just started dating, but I can tell that there is something special between us. Something I've never felt with any other girl. I can't thank her enough.

Lincoln: Wow John. I had no idea you went though all of that, or that you felt this way about Leni. (Lincoln stands up) Okay I've made up my mind. When my parents get here, no matter what they say, I'm defending you. If you meant what you said, as far as I'm concerned, you're one of us now, just like Lori's boyfriend Bobby.

John: (Emotionally), Do you really mean that, Lincoln?

Lincoln: (Puts his hand on John's shoulder), John, I really mean it.

(John kneels down and gives Lincoln a quick bro hug. They turn around to see Leni softly crying, looking at them).

Lincoln and John: Leni, how much did you hear?

Leni: (Walking up to them) All of it. I heard all of it, and I'm so glad I did.

(The three proceed to group hug).

Lincoln: Well John, you have about 2 hours until our parents get here. What do you want to do?

John: Well, I'm pretty sure I still have 4 sisters to hang out with.

(Lola hears this and comes running. She pulls John up to her room for a tea party).

Leni: Thanks, Linky.

Lincoln: For what, Leni?

Len: (hugs him) For being the best brother I could ever have.

(2 hours later)

(The 12 of them are watching tv in the living room. John is in the middle, being gazed at by Leni and her sisters).

*keys shaking*

Lincoln: Oh guys, mom and dad are here.

(John and Leni stand up together, and walk to the front door as it opens).

Lynn Sr: Hey kids! Who's _rad_ car is that parked in front of the house?

Rita: (Walks in) Oh, hello. Leni, who is this? (Lynn Sr. turns around).

John: Mr. and Mrs. Loud, my name is John, and I'm dating your daughter Leni.

(John proceeds to shake their hands, as Lynn Sr. starts leading him into the kitchen for an interrogation).

Rita: (Grabs Leni's arm), what a looker he is, (she says in quiet excitement).

(Leni walks back to the living room, a bit worried about what her father will think).

(1 hour later, John and Lynn Sr. walk into the living room together, Rita enters as well).

Lynn Sr: Leni, (Leni stands up, as Lynn Sr. looks at her for a few moments before saying more), you've got a fine young man here, (as he puts his arm around John's shoulder. (The kids all sigh of relief, as Leni runs up and hugs John).

Leni: So you don't care that he's already 20?

Lincoln: Yeah, I thought that was a big deal?

Lynn Sr: Well, I did at first, but Johnny boy's words broke through to me, and I can see what a good kid he really is. Have fun kids, (he says while leaving the room).

(All the siblings cheer, and get up to hug Leni and John).

John: So Leni, we have an hour before our reservations at the restaurant, what should we do?

Leni: Like, whatever you wanna do Johnny-Bear!

Lincoln: (He asks with excitement), John, can you give us a ride in your car?

John: I don't see why not, (happily).

(They start putting on their coats and walk outside)

Leni: Now remember girls, only I get to touch.

John: Babe, it's just a car, they can touch it if they want.

Leni: No John, I'm talking about you.

Lola: No promises Leni.

The end.

**A/N: Also, for anyone who cares, I'll be posting the epilogue to The Friendly Vendetta tomorrow.**


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